


if i don't let you in (you can't let me down)

by kirani



Series: Soulmates [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bisexual Male Character, Derek "Nursey" Nurse is Unchill, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Gay Male Character, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, bisexual dex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-11 16:02:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15975704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirani/pseuds/kirani
Summary: When Will Poindexter finds out that Derek Nurse has the name William for his soulmark, he makes a rash decision. He proposes they fake date. He can't get hurt if he doesn't admit his feelings, right?





	1. Will

**Author's Note:**

> This came about from a little ask on my tumblr about whether I should tackle a soulmates NurseyDex or a Fake Dating NurseyDex and the answer was "both at once!" so this crazy thing was born. 
> 
> Of note: in this soulmate au verse the marks are a first name and the bond is only formed after a relationship is established. So you can match marks but not be bonded soulmates until later. And you both have to want it. There's a gut reaction but the actual bond forms more strongly later.

When Will Poindexter meets Derek Nurse, he curses the universe.

In that moment, he’s more grateful than ever that it’s impolite to ask about a soulmate name. He is doubly grateful that he’s wearing his leather cuff. The last thing he needs is for Nurse to chirp him about his name, too.

See, despite being defensemen partners, they simply don’t get along. Nurse constantly belittles Will’s anger, tells him to chill when he worries, and generally throws his money around like it’s no big deal. All of which would be fine – well maybe not _fine_ but _manageable_ – if there wasn’t that other thing.

That thing being that when William Poindexter woke up on his 16th birthday, he had a boy’s name as his soulmate mark.

He’s not surprised, not really, he’s known he was bisexual for a couple of years now, but this makes things so much more difficult. With a sigh, he pulls his leather cuff bracelet back around his wrist and makes sure it doesn’t move enough to show his soulmate’s name and hopes no one asks about it. He’s been wearing it daily for the last year just in case.

Of course his sister asks immediately.

“Did you get a name?”

“Geez, let a guy sit down first,” Will huffs, flopping into a chair at the kitchen table. “And no, I didn’t get a name.”

She gives him a single raised eyebrow, looking to the bracelet on his hand.

“I checked,” he says, taking a bit of his toast and trying to look nonchalant.

His sister rolls her eyes but she doesn’t push him. The little victories.

It’s not the most uncommon thing to not have a name at 16. Sometimes people get them later in life, usually after a big change. Deciding on a university. Or starting a new job. Sometimes they don’t get them at all.

So most people who do remember it’s his 16th birthday accept his lie without saying anything besides a “that’s too bad,” or “you’ll get one soon, I’m sure,” then move on.

The only person who doesn’t take him at his word is his girlfriend, Hannah, who rips off his bracelet the first chance she gets and gapes at the name written there.

“Who the fuck is Derek?!” she hisses at him.

Will shrugs.

“Why do you have a boy’s name, anyways? Are you gay or something?”

Will shrugs again.

Hannah stalks off.

Will finds he doesn’t care that she never comes back.

So when he meets Derek Nurse, he’s sure the universe is laughing at him. But still, Derek isn’t that uncommon of a name. There will be other Derek’s. There weren’t in Maine, but it was a small town. He’ll find more.

If he doesn’t go to jail for murdering this one first.

_/ \\_

As the semester progresses, they do actually connect on the ice, and, by virtue of both being best friends with Chowder, they hang out more. They still argue, sure. Sometimes they still full out fight. But they come to a somewhat healthy compromise. He even ends up coming out to the two of them as bisexual.

“Thank you for trusting us with this, Dex,” Chowder says.

“Chill,” Nursey says.

And just like that, they’re fighting again. Because it took Will a long time to say those words out loud, even to two of his best friends, and Nursey just _had_ to mock him, like it wasn’t the easiest thing in the world to be out and proud of who you were.

“How can you say that, Nurse, do you have any idea—“

“Guys, please don’t fight—“

“Dude, it’s cool, Dex, I don’t care if you’re gay—“

“I’m not gay, I’m bi!”

“Whatever, bi, same thing—“

“It is not the same thing!” Will knows he’s shouting but he doesn’t care.

“Well, once you get your soulmate it won’t matter,” Nursey shrugs.

Will is stunned into silence for a moment. “What the actual fuck, Nurse?” He slams his book closed and stalks from Chowder’s room in a furious mood. He pounds down the stairs and gets stopped by Bitty nearly at the front door.

“Dex? What’s wrong, are you okay?”

“No, Nursey—“ and Will swallows hard, finding his voice and eyes wet with unshed tears. “Fuck! Nursey just—“

“It’s okay,” Bitty says, folding him into a hug. “Do I need to go have a talk with that boy?”

Will sighs into Bitty’s shoulder, swallowing down his tears. “No, it’s okay, Bitty. Thanks though. Just our usual brand of disconnect.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Will still hasn’t lifted his head from Bitty’s shoulder and the faint circles he’s rubbing into his back are doing wonders.

“I came out to him and Chowder. As bi.”

“Oh,” Bitty says quietly. “Thank you for telling me with that, too, Dex. You didn’t have to.”

“I trust you, Bitty,” Will smiled into his teammate’s shoulder.

“What did the boys say?” Bitty asked gently.

“Chowder was great, of course. But...” He takes a deep breath. “Nursey basically said it didn’t really matter because once I get my soulmate name it’ll just be ‘gay or straight’ and I just—“

“He said _what._ ” Will feels that Bitty had frozen underneath him. “Dex, honey, I’ll be right back.”

With a final pat to his shoulder, Bitty left him standing in the front hall, alone. Will watches him go for a moment, then leaves the Haus. He didn’t think he’d overhear anything but he didn’t want to chance it.

_/ \\_

Nursey finds him the next day, practically falls onto him actually, as he’s studying at the kitchen table at the Haus.

“Listen, Dex, I’m sorry,” he starts.

“Leave it, Nurse,” Will snaps, refusing to meet his eye.

“Bitty talked to me, and I was really out of line, and, I’m really sorry. It does matter. It matters to you. And I’m sorry.”

Will finally looks up. Derek Nurse just talked about his feelings. To him, of all people.

“I accept your apology,” Will says carefully, watching Derek’s face. “Thank you.”

“I, um, wanted to show you something,” Nursey says, rolling up his sleeve slowly. “My soulmark, well, it’s a boy, and, I never really thought about any of that until I got my name and then it felt pretty decided, I never really thought about what my _orientation_ was.”

“Oh,” Will says, and he can feel himself blushing, because on Nursey’s wrist is written William. “You have my name.”

His fingers are halfway to Nursey’s wrist of their own accord when Nurse snaps his hand back.

“I know it’s not you, you don’t have your name, I just thought I should... tell you,” he finishes lamely, pulling his sleeve back down. “My soulmate was always really important and when I saw it was a boy’s name, well, it just slotted into place in my mind. I’m gay. My soulmate’s name is William. It didn’t occur to me that I could be anything else.” He takes a deep breath and looks up. “I’m sorry for not respecting your identity.”

Will finally looks into Nursey’s eyes, tearing his eyes away from the shirt cuff that covers his soulmark.

“Thanks,” Will says after a long moment. “Thanks for sharing that with me.”

Nursey nods and a tiny smile peeks through.

So now Will is in a whole different kind of hell. Because Derek Nurse has _his name._ He gives a tiny smile in return and then makes a flustered attempt to return to his homework. Nursey leaves him to it, thankfully not chirping him about the blush Will can feel in his ears at his instinct to touch his own name on Nurse’s wrist.

Because _what the fuck._

After a couple of hours of trying to do homework, Will decides that he needs to talk to him. Now. Immediately. Because there is no way he’s getting anything else done if he doesn’t tell him. So of course he can’t find him.

“Have you seen Nursey?” he pops his head into Chowder’s room.

“Oh, he just left for the dining hall!”

“Thanks, C.”

Nursey isn’t in the dining hall. He isn’t at the Haus. He isn’t at his dorm. Will gives up and goes back to his own room.

To find Nursey sitting in the hallway.

“Are you waiting for me?” he says dumbly. Because today is just too much for rational conversation.

“Hey,” Derek says, pointedly not answering Will’s question.

Will rolls his eyes and goes to unlock his door. Nursey gets up and follows him in.

“So, um, I told Bitty that I told you, um, what I told you,” Nursey says after the door closes behind them.

“Eloquent, Nurse,”

“The thing is...” Nursey gulps audibly and Will studies his face, one eyebrow up. Is Nursey blushing?

“Bitty said you _did_ have your mark,” he says finally, staring resolutely at the floor. Will blushes, too, both eyebrows raising right off of his forehead.

“I—“

“Why didn’t you tell me you had my name?” Nursey finally meets his eyes.

“Fuck, Nurse, I’m sorry, I know it’s not you, it’s just a coincidence, and I didn’t want to make it awkward.”

Nursey’s mouth drops open and Will tries not to read into that too much. “You know it’s not me?”

“You said it yourself. There’s a lot of Williams. There’s a lot of Dereks. It’s cool. It doesn’t have to be a _thing._ ”

“Oh,” Nursey says. Will hates himself a little for making him look that sad.

“Nursey, really, it’s fine,” Will continues, since Nursey seems to have lost the power of speech. “It doesn’t have to be a big deal. There’s no way we’d be soulmates with how much we fight. The universe isn’t that cruel.” He says the last bit with a snort, trying not to let his fear show through. They were _so close_ to being friends again. He can’t let this screw them up again after they’d come so far.

“Okay, well,” Nursey visibly pulls himself back together. “We may need to explain that to Bitty. Because he’s on the war path, bro.”

“What?” Will feels his heart start to race for a totally different reason.

“He’s decided we’re destined and shit. It’s wild. I’m supposed to be over here “confessing my love” or some shit,” Nursey laughs tightly and Will tries to join but all he manages is a weak smile. Did Nursey come over here to see if they actually were soulmates? Does he think they are? Does he _want_ them to be?

That’s a scary thought. So Will decides instead to pull up his defenses as usual with Nursey.

“Wow, there’s a lot to unpack there,” Will says. “Just because we have names doesn’t mean we’re attracted to each other or interested in dating. Fuck. This is as bad as the soulmate biphobia. Fucking soulmate politics.”

Nursey winces a little. “Sorry about that. Again.” He says in a small voice. Will smiles at him and Nursey smiles back. Well, he dug his hole, might as well lie in it.

“We should fuck with him,” he announces.

Now it’s Nursey’s turn to gape. “What?”

“Y’know, fake date, prove to him that his romantic ideal of soulmates is antiquated and ridiculous.” He feels like he’s grinning like a maniac but he can’t stop himself. “Whatd’ya think?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> POV will switch back and forth each chapter. 
> 
> Updates will happen when I can make them happen. But I promise I'm working on it!


	2. Derek

William Poindexter isn’t the first William Derek has met. Far from it. At Andover alone there were three in his class. So when he meets Dex, he barely bats an eye. When they turn into adversaries immediately, he shrugs it off. Another William that’s not His William. Chill.

But there’s something different about their relationship. They challenge each other. He’d never really thought about soulmate politics before Dex. Not about the biphobia, not about the pressure to date and marry only your soulmate. Nothing. It had all seemed so natural to him. The poetry of the universe matching up soulmates.

The moment Bitty had interrupted his self-pity session to inform Derek that Dex did, in fact, have his soulmark already (and had he really not told him that he had his name? That was generally considered to be common courtesy, and honestly, Nursey, why did it take _you_ that long to tell _him?_ ), it all felt like it had fallen into place. His William. It had seemed perfect that their names matched. He loved the irony that they had fought so much at the beginning... He was a romantic. Sue him. Because William J. Poindexter has the name Derek on his wrist, too.

William J. Poindexter. Who has just proposed they fake date.

Definitely not where he thought this evening would go. But Dex’s eyes were lit up in a way they never did for Derek. He clearly didn’t want Derek for a soulmate, but... What was the worst that could happen? It could be fun. It was chill.

He’d just have to find another William who had a Derek on his wrist. Later. And in the meantime, they’d have some fun with their teammates. Maybe everyone would learn a little something.

He snaps back to the present, forces a laugh, and holds his fist out for a bump. “Swawesome.”

Will bumps the proffered fist and smiles back at him, setting off butterflies in Derek’s stomach.

He is so screwed.

_/ \\_

That night, he calls his sister.

“Farrah, I fucked up,” Derek whines when she answers. “I met my soulmate and I fucked up.”

“Derek, back up, tell me what happened?”

He tells her the whole story, from Dex coming out and Nursey making a stupid comment erasing his identity, to Bitty harassing him into apologizing and then letting slip that Dex had the name Derek, then the confrontation, and finally the light in Dex’s eyes when he proposed they fake date.

“Oh, sweetie,” she croons when he finishes. “That doesn’t sound good.”

“No,” he agrees. “It sucks.”

“Do you really think he’s it?”

“I really do,” he sighs. “We haven’t kissed or anything, but it explains so much. We fought a lot at first, but we both had a lot of learning to do so maybe it was just the universe telling us to keep at it. That we’d get there. But I don’t think he feels it. He can’t. Or he wouldn’t do this to me.”

“I’m sorry, little brother.”

Derek sighs. “I just... I always want to be touching him, you know? Like I’m drawn to him. That feels like... something.”

“It does,” she agrees.

They talk for a while longer before he lets her go and flops onto his bed to mope.

_/ \\_

On the way to the Haus the next day for a team meeting, Derek notices that Dex isn’t wearing his leather bracelet. He steels his nerves and reaches a hand out to Dex’s tentatively.

“Should we...”

“Yeah, sure,” Dex agrees, linking his fingers through Derek’s, ears tinting pink. Derek smiles at their joined hands, relishing the spark he feels as their skin touches. If this is all he’ll ever have with Dex, he’s going to enjoy it.

They walk hand in hand into the Haus and Bitty’s shrieks nearly deafen them all when he sees them.

Chowder gasps, then immediately starts crying. Ransom and Holster fist bump. Then they all stare at them, waiting for an explanation. Dex is blushing to the roots of his hair so Derek decides he’ll have to take this one.

“I dunno if Bitty said anything, but,” Derek lifts his hand, still holding Dex’s, “we’ve got each other’s names.”

It seems to unfreeze them, and Bitty hugs them, his oven mitts still on, followed quickly by Chowder, Ransom, and Holster joining in.

“What’s the celly for?” Shitty asks from the doorway.

“Nursey and Dex are soulmates!” Chowder cries.

“Bring it on in, boys!” Shitty yells and jumps into the group hug.

Derek feels like he’s going to scream. He’s so close to what he wants and yet it’s being dangled just out of reach. Dex, on the other hand, seems to be actually enjoying himself. He’s _laughing_. He looks loose, relaxed, and happy and... It’s a weird turn of events to say the least.  

“Okay, okay,” Dex laughs, pushing at their teammates. “Give us some space!”

For that, both of them get noogies from Ransom and Holster.

“We don’t know if we’re actually soulmates, yet,” Derek adds when the group hug has disbanded, standing in a loose circle around them, trying to keep his dignity at least somewhat intact. For later. When Dex calls it all off. He glances at Dex who’s looking back at him with a slightly worried expression.

He focuses on the feeling of Dex’s hand slipping back into his. When had he dropped it?

“True,” Dex says, still looking at him. “We’re taking it slow. We’re only 18 after all.”

“Speak for yourself, Poindexter, I’m 19!” Derek argues, painting a smile on his face. He hopes no one can tell it’s fake.

“Some things never change,” Dex says, returning a very real smile.

Derek smiles back at him, feeling it morph into a truer smile just from the grin on Dex’s face.

_/ \\_

Just how bad a decision this truly was is made abundantly clear when Dex announces in the middle of a homework session that evening that they should practice kissing. His cheeks are red and he’s staring at his homework, but there’s no doubt of what he said.

“What?” Derek says anyways, his usual chill completely sapped by this new form of torture.

“We should practice kissing. If we’re going to convince them we’re dating.”

Derek swallows hard and Dex finally meets his gaze. “Alright.”

Dex snorts. Derek rolls his eyes.

“What, you want some grand romantic gesture? You’re the one who started this!” Derek feels his cheeks heat and is pleased to see Dex is still pretty flustered, too. Derek sits up from where he was sprawled out with this laptop.

“Come ‘ere,” he pats the bed beside him.

“Have you ever...?” Dex asks as he moves across the room, standing awkwardly in front of Derek. “Because I know you’re really into soulmates and stuff.”

“Chyeah, but I’m not a saint, Poindexter,” Nursey jokes. “I’ve kissed people before. Have you?”

“Yeah, I had a... I had a girlfriend in high school. For a bit.”

“Oh, cool,” Derek tries to sound casual.

“It was before my soulmark,” Dex clarifies. Derek looks at him for a moment. Why did that matter?

“So it’s been a while,” he chirps, trying to steer the conversation back to safer territory.

Dex shrugs and sits down next to Nursey.

“D’you wanna just...” he waves his hand between them and Derek laughs and takes pity on him. It’s been two years – at least – since the guy got to make out. And, well... Derek knows he’s a good kisser. Just because he’s been mildly obsessed with finding His William for the last two years doesn’t mean he hasn’t had his fun. His partners enjoy themselves. He enjoys himself.

He reaches a hand up to cup Dex’s face, resting the other on his knee, then leans in, his eyes fluttering closed as he firmly presses his lips to Dex’s, drinking in the soft whimper and moving slowly and surely against his mouth. He feels his nerves ignite, racing to tell him something, lighting up all over his body. After a moment, he teases the tip of his tongue against Dex’s lips. He’s rewarded with another soft sound and Dex’s mouth opening with a sigh under his. Derek swears he can feel the electricity in his hair. Derek hums into the kiss and explores Dex with his tongue, reaching back his hand to grip the back of Dex’s head, his fingertips sparking against the short hair at the nape of Dex’s neck.

That finally seems to be the breaking point for Dex, because his hands snap up and wrap around Derek, one on the back of his neck and one around his waist, fisting in the fabric of his t-shirt. Derek continues the kiss for a moment longer before gently releasing him.

Dex’s eyes flutter open and his pupils are blown, his cheeks are bright with color, and he’s breathing hard.

“Yeah, like that,” Dex sighs, meeting Derek’s eyes with a half-lidded gaze.

Derek’s heart beats wildly against his ribs and for a moment he things Dex is going to say something. Say he’s feeling what Derek is feeling. That his limbs are tingling and his mouth is on fire and maybe they are soulmates after all.

But he just looks at Derek for a moment before tapping his thigh with his fingers and moving to stand.

“We should go on a date,” Derek says, desperate for the moment not to end, grabbing Dex’s arm before he can leave.

Dex startles from the abrupt topic change but nods after a moment, his weight shifting back onto the bed with Derek.

“Okay, where do you wanna go?”

“Annie’s?” Derek suggests.

Dex rolls his eyes.

“What? We need a story for the guys, right?” Because this is _fake_ , he reminds himself. This isn’t _real_.

Dex frowns but recovers his earlier smirk.

“I mean, yeah, but Annie’s?” Dex raises an eyebrow. “I thought you were creative, Derek.”

Derek starts slightly at his first name. Has Dex ever called him that? Has anyone on SMH? Maybe Bitty. But he can’t let himself read into it.

 _Not real_.

“Well, do you have a better suggestion, _William_?” he tosses back instead.

Dex flushes at the name and shakes his head with a mumbled “No.”

“Then we’ll go to Annie’s.”

“Alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is all i have edited for now but i've got most of it mapped and stuff. so updates soon!


	3. Will

When Nursey finally leaves that evening, Will closes the door behind him and sinks down against it, dropping his head into his hands. Kissing practice. He suggested kissing practice with his potential soulmate.

 _Fuck_ he’s an idiot.

His mind helpfully – or unhelpfully depending on what he actually wants – replays the kiss between them. The way his entire body felt like it was buzzing, like it was screaming at him to _say something, you idiot, don’t let him get away!_

But Will hadn’t said anything. He’d let the moment pass. And now he’d never know if Nursey felt the same thing. Probably better not to ask, though, because there’s no way Nursey was feeling that way. In no universe did Will Poindexter get to have Derek Nurse.

Better to not have to face the rejection.

He knocks his head back against the door behind him and bites his lip, remembering the feeling of Nursey’s hands on his body, his fingers in his hair, his lips on his...

This was a terrible idea.

_/ \\_

He manages to mostly avoid Nursey for a bit, finally agreeing to meet him at Annie’s for their “date” a couple of days later. Nursey is standing outside of Annie’s when he gets there, scrolling mindlessly on his phone. He’s in a deep green Henley and a beanie, looking as casual as can be. Will straightens his flannel and waves.

“Sup, Poindexter?” Nursey greets when he sees him, pocketing his phone and slinging an arm around Will’s shoulders. Will fights not to tense.

“Hey,” he says.

“Coffee?” Nurse asks, already steering him into Annie’s.

They make small talk while they wait in line and Will feels like he’s going to light on fire from the casual way Nursey is still touching his shoulder. The initial shock has dulled to a buzz but he’s sure it’s a soulmate reaction. What else could it be? And clearly Nursey doesn’t feel it. No amount of chill could cover this up.

 _What the actual fuck, universe?_ He finds himself thinking, not for the first time. _I know I’m not the best person but this is ridiculous._

He finally pulls his focus back to reality when Nursey drops his arm from his shoulders to pull his wallet out.

“No, I’m paying,” he interrupts.

“Dex,” Nursey starts.

“Nope, I started this, I’m paying for our coffee.” He smacks Nursey’s hand as it reaches for his wallet again, slipping his debit card out and swiping it with one hand while physically holding Nurse off with the other hand. The barista snickers at them.

They take their coffees to a table and Will knows his face is bright red so he just stares at the lid of his cup.

“You gonna let me treat you next time?” Nursey says finally.

Will looks up at him, one eyebrow raised. “Next time?” He didn’t think this would be a repeat thing.

“Gotta treat my man right,” Nursey nods. “I can't have you thinking my chill applies to my Soulmate. You know most of that is fake, Dexy."

Will narrows his eyes at him. “But we’re not...” he can’t bring himself to finish that sentence.

Nursey doesn’t seem to want to fill in the blank either. He just shrugs. Will watches him another moment before continues softly. 

“You don't have to be chill with me, Nursey.”

Nursey sighs. “I know. It's just easier to fake it sometimes than really deal with shit. It's okay." 

“It's not okay," Will says quietly. "What you have to deal with. But thank you.”

"For what?"

"For telling me."

There’s a beat of silence that isn’t as uncomfortable as Will thinks it should be. His skin tingles but he keeps himself from reaching across the table to tangle his fingers in Nursey’s.

“Damn, look at us,” Will says. “We’re having an honest-to-god adult conversation.”

Nursey laughs and reaches across the small table, ruffling Will’s hair.

“Nursey!” Will shoves his hand off and straightens his hair, glowering, but there’s no heat behind it. Nursey’s returning smile is almost soft. Will’s stomach flips.

_/ \\_

Will walks Nursey back to his dorm after their not-a-date and suddenly the tension is back. He can’t seem to look Nursey in the eye and when he does all he gets is a single eyebrow raised back at him. He has no idea what Nursey’s thinking.

And that’s always been the problem, hasn’t it? They’ve never been able to just _talk_ to each other. Always jumping straight to an argument, always trying to prove themselves the victor. And they’ve been better, but he still can’t read Nursey.

He doesn’t even really want to read him. Doesn’t want to see the chirps. Or the rejection. All he wants to do is kiss him. It’s definitely a problem.

They get to Nursey’s dorm room and he leans one shoulder against the wall beside his door and starts fluttering his eyelashes at Will.

“Thanks for walking me home, Dexy,” he teases.

Will shoves his shoulder and Nursey drops the act, laughing, as he falls back against the wall.

“You’re blushing so much, Dex, I didn’t know you could turn that pink!”

“Can I kiss you again?” Will asks, instead of justifying Nursey’s chirp with an answer.

He has the satisfaction of Nursey momentarily losing the power of speech.

“I think we got the hang of it before, Dex,” Nursey says at last, no trace of a chirp.

Dex swallows and forces himself to continue. “So?”

“So,” Nursey says slowly. “There’s no one here. You don’t have to prove anything.”

“And if I just want to kiss you?” Will braces himself for the rejection. It’s the closest he’s ever come to admitting that he actually _likes_ Nursey, despite whatever charade they’ve got going on. Of _course_ Nursey doesn’t want to kiss him. He’s nerdy Will Poindexter. Ginger hair and freckles and too-big ears. But Will is determined to take whatever he can get in this arrangement. So he waits.

Nursey stares at him for a long moment, but then he swallows hard and nods.

Will smiles and leans in. He braces his hands on either side of Nursey against the wall and tilts his head to meet Nursey’s lips. Nursey makes a sound in the back of his throat and Will thinks he should get a medal of some kind for not immediately pressing his entire body against Nursey’s and kissing him senseless.

But Will forces himself to keep it chaste. Mostly. That buzzing feeling is back, the voice in his head that screams to tell him how he feels is at full volume, and Nursey’s hands are on him. He’s not a saint, okay? He takes his right hand off the wall and cups Nursey’s face with it, relishing the feel of Nursey’s stubble against his palm.

Then Nursey wraps his fingers around Will’s wrist – around his Soulmark – and he feels like he’s on fire. He gasps into the kiss and Nursey uses his suprirse to nibble on his lower lip. Will groans and makes himself pull away.

Nursey looks flushed when they disentangle and Will is struck with the impulse to ask to come inside. To see just how flushed he can make him. But that’s not their arrangement. So he takes a deep breath in, sighs it out, and kisses Nursey on the cheek.

“Goodnight, Nursey,” he says, before dropping his hand and walking away.

He makes it all the way back to his own dorm before the tears come.


	4. Derek

He should have said no. Why didn’t he say no? He was just torturing himself at this point. So Dex liked to kiss him. He liked to kiss people, too. But he clearly wasn’t getting the same Soulmate potential and honestly this was going to destroy him. It already was destroying him.

He has to call it off.

The question is, when? He can’t wait too long or it will be finals time and you just don’t break up with someone during finals. Even fake relationships.

He decides that the Haus is probably a safe neutral ground. So when he and Will are sitting on the couch alone that Friday evening, he brings it up.

“Do you think we should call it off?”

“Call what off?”

And, okay, Derek can admit that wasn’t the best starting point.

“This... thing. Like, we’ve made our point, right?”

“What the fuck, Nursey?” Dex’s cheeks are pink and his voice is threatening to rise.

“I mean, we didn’t really talk about how long we were gonna, y’know, _date_ ,” he raises his eyebrows at the last part, not wanting to risk being overheard.

“So, what, you’re dumping me?” Dex shouts. He clearly has no qualms about his volume.

“Y’all okay in there?” Bitty calls from the kitchen.

Dex is undeterred. “Well?”

“I’m just not feeling it,” Derek murmurs, still trying to calm the situation down.

Dex glares at him. The front door slams and Ransom and Holster tromp in to the living room, falling silent when they see the two boys on the couch.

“You’re not _feeling it_?” Dex continues, his cadence not broken by the arrival of an audience.

“Dex,” Derek starts again, eyes flicking from Dex to Bitty, who’s just entered the room as well.

“No, you know what? I’m done,” Dex says. He stands up and faces Bitty, Ransom, and Holster. “We were never dating in the first place. We were trying to make a point about assuming soulmate connections out of coincidence.”

Bitty claps his hand over his mouth with a gasp.

“Seriously,” Dex continues. “Would you have ever suggested we date if it weren’t for these stupid marks?” He punctuates this by ripping off his leather bracelet, showing his Soulmark to the whole room. “We are not Soulmates. We never were. You’re. Just. Nosy!”

That last part seems to be aimed especially at Bitty and Nursey feels his own face flush. Dex is as red as his hair at this point, his shoulders hunched and his hands tightly wrapped into fists. He stares at Bitty for a moment longer, then grabs his backpack from the floor and storms out, slamming the door behind him.

Everyone watches him go and then turns back to Derek.

“Oh, honey,” Bitty says, crossing to him. “Are you alright?”

Derek lets himself be hugged and is surprised when Bitty’s shirt gets wet under his face. When did he start crying?

“It’s fine, Bits,” he tries to be chill but his voice comes out shaky. “Just... the wrong William, I guess.”

Bitty squeezes him tighter and then steps back to let Ransom step in. He hugs tightly to his friend then steps back.

“Holster went after Dex,” Ransom says quietly. “Are you okay? Really?”

Derek smiles weakly and nods.

“I’m gonna go,” he says. “I just wanna be alone right now.”

“Okay, bro,” Ransom agrees. “Text me if you change your mind. I got your back.”

He makes it back to his dorm and flops down onto his bed exhausted. His Soulmark is buzzing unpleasantly on his wrist and he rubs it absentmindedly as he tries to breathe evenly.

He agreed to this. He agreed to be used to make a point. Dex had told him from the beginning that he didn’t think they were Soulmates. He knew this was coming. He was even the one to call it off.

But fuck it still felt like it had been real. They had really gotten close, even if it was over a fake relationship. He thought at least the friendship had been real. But Dex had thrown him away like yesterday’s garbage.

The tears don’t stop for a long time.

                                                                                                   _/ \\_               

“You’re an idiot,” is the first thing his sister says to him when he finally calls her the next day.

“Love you, too, sis.”

“What more are you looking for? An invitation in gold leaf? That’s what a Soulmate potential feels like! That’s what that was! Why didn’t you just _tell him_?”

“Even if it was that for me, it wasn’t for him. So just drop it, okay?”

There’s a crackled sigh down the line before she answers. “One-sided Soulmates aren’t real, Derek. They’re made up for drama in stories. If you felt it, he felt it.”

“He didn’t feel it,” he interrupts. “Trust me. If he felt it he wouldn’t have done everything he did. He wouldn’t have said what he did.”

Farah sighs again.

“How do you know what a Soulmate potential feels like, anyways? You been reading Soulbond novels, Farah?”

“No!” she denies.

“Oh my god,” Derek says, suddenly struck with an idea.

“No! No, no, no –”

“You’ve found him!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“You’ve let me go on and on about this thing with Dex and this whole time you’ve been hiding that you found your Abdul!”

“You’re just trying to change the subject,” she scoffs.

“I think I’m right,” Derek smiles.

“Ugh! Okay yes, I found him,” she admits.

Derek laughs and she finally gives him details. It’s the lightest he’s felt in days.

                                                                                                   _/ \\_               

The last few weeks of the term are painful. His Mark twinges with pain almost constantly and late at night it seems to throb. The only thing that sooths it is tears, which Derek finds out accidentally when he’s crying and wipes his eyes with his wrist.

The team are all tiptoeing around him and he wants to scream at them, to yell at them, but he keeps up his chill. He refuses to lose it over Dex.

He can’t.

After his last final, he trudges back to his dorm to pack for the summer. He’s sorting through the massive pile of papers on his desk when his Mark starts to burn. That’s the only word for it. It feels like someone is holding a brand to his skin. Like they’re pushing it harder and harder until his eyes are welling with tears of pain.

He can barely see but he fumbles with his phone until it dials Chowder.

“Hey Nursey,” Chowder says, bright and happy as usual, though it sounds a little forced.

“C,” Derek interrupts. “Something’s wrong.”

“What’s going on?”

“My Mark, it’s burning.”

“Burning?”

“It feels like it’s on fire! I don’t know what’s happening! Is my Mate hurt? Is he dying? Have I missed him entirely?”

“Okay, hang on, just a second,” Chowder says.

There’s shuffling on the other end before Chowder speaks again. Nursey cries harder.

“Okay, I just googled it, that’s what happens when the potential dissolves.”

“The potential is dissolving? But I haven’t even met him yet!”

“Nursey,” Chowder says calmly. “We both know that’s not true.”

Derek sobs again, clutching his wrist harder.

“What do I do, C? I don’t know what to do!”

There’s a pause on the other end before Chowder answers.

“He’s in his room. Go talk to him.”

Somehow, it’s the permission Derek needs. His feet are walking out of the room before he’s told them to, ripping open the door and running from his building, across the quad, to Dex’s.

He must have still been on the phone with Chowder, because he meets him at the door and leads him up to Dex’s room. He pushes ahead of Chowder when they get close, banging on the door.

“Dex! Let me in!”

Chowder calmly pushes the door open – it was unlocked – and Derek stumbles inside.

“Will?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the minor cliffhanger, we have to check in with Dex okay?


	5. Will

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this backtracks to right after Derek calls off their fake relationship. I couldn’t decide who I wanted to follow for the last 3 weeks so I’m following both because I’m the author and I do what I want.

Will stares at his teammates’ shocked faces before he grabs his bag off the floor and runs from the Haus. He doesn’t look back at Nursey.

He makes it back to his dorm building but diverts his steps to Chowder’s room instead of his own. He can’t be alone right now.

He knocks on Chowder’s door and the look on his face is one of pure relief. He’s cradling his phone against his ear as he wraps Will in a tight hug and brings him inside. Will feels the fabric of Chowder’s hoodie dampen under his face.

“Yeah, I’ve got him, Holster,” he says into the phone. “Yeah, I’ll let you know if we need anything.”

He hangs up the phone and pulls back from the hug enough to look at Will, who still has tears streaming down his face.

“Is it true?”

“Which part?” Will laughs hollowly

Chowder studies him carefully.

Will nods. “It was a fake relationship. Because I’m an idiot and suggested that instead of actually talking about feelings.”

“Oh,” Chowder says. “I’m so sorry.”

Will shrugs. “S’not your fault.”

“I should have said something, though,” Chowder continues. “I could see something was wrong. I just wanted so badly for you two to be happy.”

“Well, that’ll never happen now,” Will scoffs. “There’s no way he wants me for a Soulmate or even for a friend. I destroy everything I touch.”

“That’s not true,” Chowder argues. “You just... get a little overwhelmed sometimes.”

Will shrugs and flops onto Chowder’s bed, grabbing a stuffed shark and hugging it to his chest.

“Well, I definitely destroyed this,” he counters.

“I don’t think you did.”

Will looks at Chowder, raising an eyebrow.

“Okay, maybe it could have been handled better,” Chowder concedes with a sigh, “but I don’t think it’s completely destroyed. You still have his name, don’t you? You can fix this. I’ll help you.”

“You’re too good for me, Chris Chow,” Will says after a moment.

“What do you want to do?” Chowder says.

“Right now, I want to get through finals. Because I do still need to pass my classes, Soulmate or no.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do.”

_/ \\_

Somehow, Will makes it through the rest of the semester and finals. Ransom makes him a study schedule and it helps immensely. He texts Chowder – probably too much – and avoids the Haus.

The burning starts when Chowder is helping him pack up his room for the summer. It starts off the gentle pain that has haunted his Mark for the past three weeks, but it grows stronger and soon Will has to drop the clothes he’s folding to clutch at his wrist.

“Chowder?” he asks.

“Hmm?” Chowder looks up, then furrows his eyebrows when he sees Will holding his wrist.

“What does it mean if my Mark is burning?” he asks shakily, feeling tears rise to his eyes again.

Chowder whips his phone out of his pocket and types and scrolls for a moment before he meets Will’s eye again.

“It could be the potential dissolving,” Chowder says finally. “If he’s feeling it, too.”

“Fuck,” Will says. The tears are starting to escape his eyes and the pain is worsening with every second.

Chowder’s phone rings.

“Hey Nursey!” he says over the line, worried eyes still fixed on Will where he sits on the floor clutching his wrist. His eyebrows furrow further as he listens to Nurse on the other line.

“What’s going on?” he pauses.

“Burning?” he nods.

“Okay, hang on, just a second,” Chowder says. He puts his hand over the mic of the phone. “His is burning, too.”

“Fuck,” Will whispers again.

Chowder continues talking to Nursey. “Okay, I just googled it, that’s what happens when the potential dissolves.”

Will can hear Nursey’s voice rising in panic over the phone.

“Nursey,” Chowder says calmly. “We both know that’s not true.”

Chowder looks at Will, a question in his eyes. Will nods.

“He’s in his room. Go talk to him.”

Chowder puts his hand over the mic again but doesn’t hang up.

“I’m going to go downstairs and get him. Do you want me to stay with you guys?” Chowder asks, slipping on his shoes.

Will shakes his head, still clutching his wrist.

“Okay, I’ll be right back,” Chowder says. “It’s gonna be okay, Dex.”

Will nods but as soon as Chowder closes the door behind him he sinks to the floor and curls up in a ball, letting his tears fall onto his scorching skin, trying desperately to soothe it to no avail.

Thankfully, it’s only a matter of moments before there’s a banging on his door and Nursey is yelling through it.

“Dex! Let me in!”

Before Will can summon the strength to get up though, Chowder opens the door and Nursey tumbles inside. His own face is tear-streaked and he’s holding his Soulmark tightly. His hair is a mess from where he’s clearly been running his hands through it.

“Will?” The desperation in Nursey’s voice breaks Will’s heart more than the burning in his wrist.

“Hey,” he says weakly, and Nursey drops to his knees beside him on the floor. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Chowder closing the door and leaving them alone. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Nursey’s eyes overflow with more tears. “You were so opposed to the idea,” he explains. “I thought you didn’t feel it. I was trying to preserve myself. Preserve my heart.”

Will releases his own wrist and sits up, reaching out for Nursey’s. The other boy lets his hand fall from his own Mark and Will touches it gently.

“I was so scared, Derek,” he says hoarsely, the name dropping from his mouth like an endearment. He rubs his thumb on Nursey’s skin where the name William still sits. It doesn’t feel as warm as his Soulmark did, but maybe he’s imagining that. “I felt so much... like my heart would explode. I couldn’t do it. Not after I was so stupid at the beginning. I was so angry and then I fucked everything up and ruined it. All just to prove a goddamn point because I was upset about people making assumptions about me. Now we’re even going to lose our names.”

“You didn’t lose anything, Will,” Derek interrupts at last, and Will realizes that Derek has stopped crying. He’s even smiling slightly. “Mine isn’t even burning anymore. Can I – ?” he reaches out a questioning hand for Will’s Mark.

Will nods and the touch of Derek’s fingertips on his wrist sooth the fire instantly, cool relief flooding into his veins. Another sob breaks loose, but this one feels like joy, not loss. It feels like coming home.

“Is it real? Is this really happening? Do I...” Will trails off.

“What do you want, Will?” Derek asks softly.

“Do I get to keep you?” he whispers finally, looking up to meet Derek’s eyes.

Derek nods firmly. “Yes, you do. It’s real. I’ll do anything to show you how real it is for me,” Derek says. “I will.”

He lets a small smile show on his face through his tears. “No, I Will. You Derek.”

Derek stares at him for a moment then laughs, a short, relieved thing. “Will. I will.”

Finally, Will closes the space between them and kisses Derek fiercely on the lips.

“This is enough,” Will whispers.

_/ \\_

Hours later, after apologies, after explanations, after kisses, after long stretches of nothing much said aside from each others’ names, gasped into the space between them, hands and lips everywhere, they finally fall quiet. They’re wrapped around each other in Will’s bed, Derek wrapped around his back and nuzzling into his neck, his fingers around Will’s wrist, when his Soulmark starts to tingle.

It’s not like the pain from earlier, nor is it the insistent urge to touch Derek it had been when they had not-dated. It’s warm and sweet and Will’s stomach bubbles pleasantly.

Derek pulls his hand off Will’s wrist to pull his own up and stare at it. Will watches his own squirm Mark for a moment, before meeting Derek’s eyes where he’s propped up on an elbow behind him.

Derek is smiling. He holds his wrist up next to Will’s, and both names stand out starkly on their wrists. They’re no longer the pale, plain writing, but are stark, crisp, and dark against each of their skins. Derek’s Mark is little crooked and scratchy and it’s the most beautiful thing Will has ever seen. Will’s Mark settles, too, and the name ‘Derek’ now loops in a wild sprawl over his freckles.

“My handwriting looks good on you,” Will remarks, reaching to touch the Mark on Derek’s skin. He strokes over his name with his thumb. He had half expected to be able to feel the bolder letters on Derek’s skin, but it’s still completely smooth.

Derek lets him stroke the Mark a moment longer before he captures Will’s fingers in his own, linking them together, and leaning over to kiss Will again.

They don’t get out of bed for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this got way more schmoopy than I had expected honestly. Thank you to everyone who’s been following along! Your kudos and comments mean the world to me. I think I might do a smutty epilogue, you all want that? Lmk in the comments? I’m also on tumblr at let-kvp-be-happy.

**Author's Note:**

> i've been blown away by the response to this! come talk to me on tumblr? willdexpoindexter


End file.
